Keeping Up With Piper Read online

  Valery, that chick you eat with on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, is the one who sent me the contract and told me what time to be here on my first day, which is today. We come along quite well. But I know you find her annoying. Every time she tells you about her weekend, which she mostly spends at home watching series and baking all kinds of cookies and cakes, you roll your eyes. Valery and I talked about the perfect chocolate chip cookies recipe and Grey’s Anatomy and Jane the Virgin, her favorite series, on the phone before I started working here. She just wanted to know if I want to rent a parking lot underneath the office building, but we then talked for an hour about her amazing weekend. I hate Grey’s Anatomy and I actually don’t care about how chocolate chip cookies are made. I like every kind of chocolate chip cookie, regardless of what butter, sweetener or mixing technique was used. I just don’t care but I need all of your colleagues to like me, even annoying Valery. I don’t understand much of the things that you do in your life but finding Valery annoying isn’t of them. I don’t like her either.

  “Great, I absolutely love paninis,” I say.

  Isn’t that amazing how I just need to tell you I like exactly what you like and that makes it easier for us to become friends? Such an amazing psychological effect. I know you’re a huge fan of Rita Ora, you never miss a concert when she’s performing in New York City, and you have a girl crush on Cara Delevingne. Besides paninis you love Italian food in general, pizza and pasta, everything with cheese and tomatoes. You love going shopping with your girls (mainly roommates from NYU) but since you became a mother, you aren’t that close anymore. As much as you like tequila you hate beer, but you can’t get enough of red wine. Your favorite kind of evening is sitting at home with your best friend, watching a series, drinking red wine and gossiping about everything and everyone. That’s what we’ll do together soon.

  On Sunday nights you always drink the cheapest bottle of red wine you could find at Food Bazaar. That’s how you spend those Friday evenings, on which Joe takes Dana Isabella with him. You often go grocery shopping after you’ve picked up Dana Isabella from kindergarten in Brooklyn, close to your apartment. You actually wanted her to go to an international kindergarten where the kids learn French and be all fancy all day long but that was just impossible with your budget. However, you were able to convince your Ex Joe to send you more money as soon as she’s five years old and goes to school. She turns five in two months. And the school you chose for her is The Huntington School in Lower Manhattan, close to SoHo. Great choice, I must admit. If it wasn’t for you I would just move back there, now that I’ve enrolled my own kid at that exact same school. But I want to be the one offering to drive your daughter to school. I want to be the one you ask for a play date. As soon as you realize how much we have in common it won’t take long until we’re closer than you and Penelope back then. I know a lot about Penelope as well, I know every detail of her miserable life, but you know exactly why I want revenge on you, Piper, and less on her.

  I walk into my tiny office and close the door. Paola sent me everything I need to know via email. That’s what she said. The position of a project lead is completely new so even Paola doesn’t exactly know what I’m supposed to start with. I don’t care at all about the success of lalamilan but let’s see what she emailed me.

  2

  Dear Blair,

  Gosh, why did I choose the name Blair. Of all names in this world Blair is what came to my mind. I can’t use my real name, you would instantly recognize me, but I can use the middle name of my lovely grandma. It’s of Scottish Gaelic origin and it means something like “plain”, “field” or – guess what, bitch – “battlefield”. It’s fitting, isn’t it? And my last name Morgan, where does that come from? On a sunny Saturday during my studies at NYU I walked down the streets and came across the Morgan Stanley Headquarters. Yes, it’s that simple. Other places I came across that afternoon were St. Mary the Virgin Church and Chipotle. Imagine me as Blair the Virgin or Blair Chipotle. I’m not supposed to be a comic figure. It’s just better the way it is now.

  With this other name, Blair Morgen, it’s quite unlikely for you to know who I really am. My hair used to be copper red, and I had curls. Lovely beautiful curls, which you hated. I don’t have curls anymore, my hair now is light blonde, but still quite thick and voluminous. I cut them, so they’re shoulder-length. Today it’s a shoulder-length long bob. I guess that’s what one would call it. Up close one can see that blonde is definitely not my natural hair color. I’m so sick of coloring it every once in a while but I won’t have to do that forever.

  welcome to lalamilan, I’m glad you’re joining me and my amazing team today. We’re so happy you’re here!

  Your team members are Piper Flores ([email protected], @itspiperflrs), responsible for quality and management and collaborations, and Amber Cassidy ([email protected], @cassfashion). Amber’s responsibilities include the blog’s layout and coordination of our freelance writers and photographers.

  As long as you, Piper, are here and my fellow team member, I’m happy. That’s all I need for my plan to work out. I don’t care about Paola or Amber.

  And you? You are their project lead, which means you are responsible for planning, budgeting and coordinating everything that happens in your team.

  Sounds like a very specific job description. Not. Paola has no idea why this position of a project lead was even created. Probably Valery told her every team needs a leader so here we go, let’s hire some blonde chick with a fake degree and fake expertise. Oh, and don’t forget the fake hair color.

  In case you have any questions don’t hesitate to come to my office down the hallway. Valery Reed ([email protected]) is the head of our HR department, she will take care of everything HR-related.

  Sure, Valery manages the HR department, which consists of exactly one employee, and that is Valery. But with that much money that lalamilan makes the team around Paola is quite small. There are only about fifteen employees who work in the office in New York City, a couple more work in an office in Milan, but that’s just so the “milan” in lalamilan makes sense. As soon as the blog got bigger Paola left Italy and came to New York. I wonder if Milan is that boring or if Paola is just a little too obsessed with America. Lalamilan consists of Paola, the CEO, of course, an HR department, the finance department, whose two members take care of bills and taxes, and a few project teams. Other than those people lalamilan has a pool of freelancers for all kinds of tasks. You would expect a lifestyle blog to consist of more bloggers than just freelancers.

  Every first Friday of the month we all go out as a team and have fun in one of NYC’s fabulous rooftop bars. The drinks are on me, woohoo!

  Woohoo? Seriously? How old is Paola? I’ve read she’s thirty-one years old.

  Make sure to save the date and add a reminder in your calendar. Be there or be square.

  But I already know that. You, Piper, took part in exactly two out of six nights out since joining lalamilan. One of those Fridays you couldn’t come because Joe and you had an awful fight about who of you two is the worst parent, and he left with Dana Isabella about two hours later than planned. And the other Friday you couldn’t be there was when you preferred to stay at home and drink wine. You were crying actually. I don’t know why. I may have hacked your devices, but I can’t read minds. There was no hint on why you started crying that night.

  You’ve joined lalamilan six months ago, in January. Now it’s June. You didn’t find a job right after graduating NYU, didn’t you? You worked as an intern for the New York Times and Elle online for a few months, which is impressive, then finally Paola told you you’re in. You met her at the New York Fashion Week in February. You were supposed to write an article about the event for a small local lifestyle magazine here in New York City, but you never finished it because you were so happy about your new job. Are you still happy? I guess. It isn’t easy finding a part-time job when you’re a single mom. I know that too well. Every day you work from nine
to three, then you pick up Dana Isabella. Do you know how annoying it is that you insist on calling her both names? Why not Dana or Isabella?

  It starts right after work, which means 4 pm. Yes, everybody at lalamilan is free to go at 4 pm on Friday nights. I want my employees to have a vivid social life and give them the time to go out on weekends. For our part-time crew that means: You’re allowed to go two hours earlier than usual.

  Paola seems so generous and easy-going. Seems not is. I know that most of the time you, Piper, bring work home. According to your emails it is because Paola wants things to be done quite spontaneously. As soon as some new big cooperation pops up she wants you to take care of it immediately. Not tomorrow, not during work hours, but now. I always find it amusing watching you through the camera of your laptop while you work at 10 pm, trying to satisfy Paola. Sometimes you leave work earlier but I’m certain you still have lots of extra hours left.

  Love,

  Paola Chiara Bianchi

  CEO of lalamilan

  [email protected]

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  I wonder why it’s so easy to get a job that you don’t even want but it’s so hard to get hired for a job that actually interests you.

  It’s just a strange world, isn’t it, Pieper?

  ***

  Dear Blair,

  welcome to lalamilan, I’m glad you’re joining me and my amazing team today. We’re so happy you’re here!

  Your team members are Piper Flores ([email protected], @itspiperflrs), responsible for quality and management and collaborations, and Amber Cassidy ([email protected], @cassfashion). Amber’s responsibilities include the blog’s layout and coordination of our freelance writers and photographers.

  And you? You are their project lead, which means you are responsible for planning, budgeting and coordinating everything that happens in your team.

  In case you have any questions don’t hesitate to come to my office down the hallway. Valery Reed ([email protected]) is the head of our HR department, she will take care of everything HR-related.

  Every first Friday of the month we all go out as a team and have fun in one of NYC’s fabulous rooftop bars. The drinks are on me, woohoo! Make sure to save the date and add a reminder in your calendar. Be there or be square. It starts right after work, which means 4 pm. Yes, everybody at lalamilan is free to go at 4 pm on Friday nights. I want my employees to have a vivid social life and give them the time to go out on weekends. For our part-time crew that means: You’re allowed to go two hours earlier than usual.

  Love,

  Paola Chiara Bianchi

  CEO of lalamilan

  [email protected]

  Want to keep up with our blog? Follow us, like us and share our content:

  www.lalamilanlifestyleblog.com

  Insta @lalamilanlifestyleblog and @paolalalamilan

  Twitter @paolalalamilan

  YT lalamilanlifestyleblog

  3

  Paola’s email almost made me fall asleep. Thanks for all the information, Bianchi. It sounds like I’m a pseudo manager who is physically present but doesn’t actually take care of anything, which is fine with me. That way I have more time for you, Piper.

  “Ready? Let’s go,” I say after I open my door and walk up to your desk again.

  Why do I even bother opening or closing a glass door? What’s the use of a glass door? It’s transparent. It isn’t even soundproof. This useless door’s comparable to the effort you, Piper, make when closing your curtains but not protecting your laptop and other devices from a hacker attack. It was not even difficult to get into your computer at the office. Paola doesn’t have a well thought-through security strategy. What does the IT department even do? She should’ve hired me as a cyber security specialist.

  You turn off your computer and grab your black purse. You seem to like black, don’t you? Your Audi is black, your blazer today is black, your miniskirt is blue though, even your dark brunette hair is almost black. Okay, well, it’s rather a very dark brown. It has been since I met you. You’ve always worn it loose, but it wasn’t as long back then.

  Amber looks like she wants to join us.

  “See you later, Amber,” I say and wave her goodbye. “You should join us next time.”

  She shouldn’t. I hate lying.

  “Have fun,” she says.

  Bye, Amber. I will have to stop her from joining us next time as well. No one should be the third wheel in our relationship. It’s just me and you, Piper. A duo, not a trio.

  “How do you like it here?,” you ask while we walk down the hallway and leave the office.

  “Love it, that’s my absolute dream job, at least for now,” I say. It’s not even a lie. A job as your colleague is my dream job at the moment. “How long have you been working for lalamilan?”

  We take the lift downstairs. A man’s joining us on our way down. He wears a dark blue suit. Probably one of the lawyers from the third floor. Handsome guys, really.

  “I’ve just started working here six months ago,” you answer. “But you’ve been working for Vogue, haven’t you? Wasn’t that a dream job? I’d love to work there. That’s the ultimate epic fashion tale.”

  How should I know? I never worked there, and I don’t know anyone who works at that magazine. But I do know about your internship at Elle. You loved it there, but it wasn’t a real job for someone who already had a bachelor’s degree.

  “It was great, I was a beauty editor,” I say. “That was so much fun.”

  What the hell is a beauty editor? But yeah, that’s what I wrote in my resumé. I was a beauty editor.

  “I can totally see why,” you say. “Your make-up is amazing.”

  Wow, Piper. You actually say something nice? Where did you learn that? But really, it’s all thanks to your influence. Only because of you I’ve spent so much time thinking about my appearance and style during these last few years.

  “Thanks, Piper,” I say. “I just love make-up.”

  No, you love make-up.

  “Me too,” you agree.

  It’s amazing. I’ve spent so much time with you and every fucking detail of your life, that I actually feel like I know what you’re thinking. I know what goes on in your head, which isn’t too complex most of the time.

  We walk outside. The weather isn’t too nice today, it’s cloudy but at least it’s not raining.

  “Where are we heading?,” I ask as if I don’t know already.

  “Benissimo. It’s an Italian restaurant. You’ll like it.”

  I like whatever you like.

  “Do you go there often?”

  “So often,” you say. “And I always have the exact same panini. It’s ridiculous but I just love their panini with cheese, bacon and onions.”

  You forgot the tomatoes.

  “Paninis are great,” I say. “I love them with mozzarella and pepper.”

  Which is no lie. The one time I ate a panini here I ordered one with mozzarella and put extra pepper on it. I wanted to know why you come here so often, so I tried their infamous paninis once.

  We cross the street as the lights turn green.

  “Sounds good,” you say. “Maybe I’ll try mine with pepper today.”

  Look who influences who now.

  “You should.”

  We finally arrive at Benissimo. I know the directions by heart and it’s weird to pretend like I’ve never been here. On the inside this restaurant doesn’t look Italian at all. It’s a quite modern caféish hipster restaurant with interior made from dark blue steel and some sort of chestnut wood. On a blackboard next to the counter they promote their daily special. Sadly, it never is your favorite panini. Today it’s pasta. I’d rather have pasta, the prices here are
ridiculous.

  “So, tell me,” you say as soon as we sit down. “Are you from New York?”

  No, I’m from small town in Pennsylvania, the same you call your home. It’s not my home but it’s what I consider to be the birth town of Blair Morgan, my new identity.

  “California,” I say. “I was born and raised in San Francisco, then studied at Pepperdine University in Malibu.”

  At least it’s not a lie that I was raised in San Francisco. We moved there when I was seven years old. But I wasn’t born there. That’s something you, Piper, don’t know about me.

  “Isn’t it hard to get into Pepperdine?”

  It’s harder than it is to get into New York University. But I wouldn’t know. I wanted to study at the same university as you, not in California. I can still pursue a graduate degree at another university far away from New York.

  “A bit, yeah,” I answer. “So, where did you get your degree?”

  “NYU. I studied journalism.”

  It was quite convenient to study at NYU. I knew exactly where you were at. I wasn’t ready to take you down back then. I needed time to turn myself into that lovely charming blonde coworker that I pretend to be today. And I had to take care of Kye. Otherwise I would’ve tried to become your roommate in college instead of your coworker at lalamilan. I just don’t want to waste more time.

  “What was your major?,” you ask but are interrupted by a waiter who appears in front of our table.